www.android-online.ru РазработчикиRob Lancaster

Приложения разработчика Rob Lancaster в Android Market

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Иконка для Lawyer Jokes 3.0.2

Lawyer Jokes (v. 3.0.2)

Rob Lancaster опубликовал приложение 2011-02-24
(обновлено 2012-06-19)

350+ Lawyer jokes, if you are or know a lawyer then shame on you! only joking, but probably best not to download these joke if you offend easily.


*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy. "

"Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice."

"A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral.""

"A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
'That's unfair!' he cried. 'I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.'
'Shut up,' barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.
'Who are you to question that woman's punishment?'"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline."

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

Бесплатно
Иконка для 700+ Blonde Jokes 3.1.0

700+ Blonde Jokes (v. 3.1.0)

Rob Lancaster опубликовал приложение 2011-02-24
(обновлено 2012-06-18)

Over 700 of the funniest jokes about blondes.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"I pulled into a crowded car park at the local shopping centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay! Stay! Stay!"
This blonde bird gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in Park?" "

"Why did the blonde, throw breadcrumbs in the toilet bowl?
To feed the toilet duck. "

"A blonde with two burnt ears goes to the doctor, who asks what has happened.
"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron."
"What about the other one?"
"They called back.""

"A blonde just texted me saying, "What does idk stand for?"
I texted back saying, "I don't know" and she replied, "OMG, no-one does!""

"F*****g dating sites
I asked for a fit blonde, who has a dirty mouth and likes it in the ring.
I got paired with Hulk Hogan"

Бесплатно
Иконка для 600+ Police funnies 3.0.0

600+ Police funnies (v. 3.0.0)

Rob Lancaster опубликовал приложение 2011-02-19
(обновлено 2012-06-10)

Love them, hate them or are one! These jokes are for you.
Over 600 of the best jokes about the long arm of the law.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:
Man: What's the problem officer?
Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.
Man: No sir, I was going 65.
Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.
(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.Man: Shut your mouth, woman!
Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?
Wife: No, only when he's drunk."

"A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered,
"It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD."
The drunk promptly fainted.
The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that.""

"What do you call a crow that joins the police?
A rookie."

"NEWSFLASH - An Old English Sheep dog has been found hanging from a tree in the Southern states of the USA.
The police say the Dulux Klan did it. "

"Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes - $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."
The following day, the same police officer noticed the same two hos driving around with a large sign on their car.
He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:
"Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter -- $50.""

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

Бесплатно
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