Vortex (v. 1.1.5) Разработано Andrew Kachaniwsky |
NOW INFUSED WITH LEPRECHAUN MOJO!
**Thanks everybody who have commented and promoted this app in true Three Wolf Moon fashion. Without all of you, this app wouldn't exist. Development is underway to add some actual features to this app**
Would you like the power to punch a lion in the mouth? ...The mental fortitude to drill a hole through the sun with your mind? ...The audacity to tell your significant other to make you some pie? ...The infallible epicness to take over the world? ...The ability to gather a trio of wolves and have them howl at the moon whilst being captured by an artist for later portrayal on a T-shirt?
If you answered yes to any of the above, or to any other question for that matter, then Vortex is FOR YOU!
Conceived by an infinite number of aardvarks on an infinite number of antique computers, Vortex is a revolution in Android application design.
Not only can you tame wild animals, you can impress your friends, and make all your wildest dreams come true!*
[[ Now with support for Tegra devices, and Xperia PLAY and arc ]]
(*Dreams not actually guaranteed to come true. For full terms and conditions, please contact developer. This application not actually guaranteed to do anything at all.)
[2013-08-06] A Google User: Don't believe all the hype. This app is BETTER THAN WHAT YOU'VE HEARD I could help you, but that would require me to leave the Vortex. I'm now over 9,000. |
|
[2013-06-03] A Google User: Dafuq? What was that? O_o |
|
[2013-05-11] A Google User: Epic Troll It workz.... |
|
[2013-04-27] A Google User: Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid Stupid stupid stupid Stupid stupid stupid Stupid stupid stupid Stupid stupid stupid I hate it |
|
[2013-03-05] A Google User: Amazing app For those of you smart***es who think they're so clever noticing that this app does nothing and the comments are fake... you must feel so proud of yourselves for figuring out something so obvious. Go play with a plastic bag. |
|
[2013-02-15] A Google User: What? Dafuq just happened? |
|
[2012-12-28] A Google User: Would've been nice Memory optimization tool....but does nothing. Just a good laugh at the description! |
|
[2012-12-19] A Google User: this is beautiful i am now Jesus. Thanks Vortex! |
|
[2012-12-15] A Google User: An iPhone user This was great on my blackberry, I can cook chicken twice as fast!!!! |
|
[2012-11-23] A Google User: Crap app Literally nothing |
|
[2012-11-11] A Google User: Crap It takes forever to load but when it did it forced closed it!! crappp |
|
[2012-10-30] A Google User: ASUS Transformer Infinity Now my tablet can REALLY transform! |
|
[2012-09-08] A Google User: This Is dumb its a waste of time |
|
[2012-09-04] A Google User: Made by jessus Best app on the market! I no longer need drugs to live a happy life, thanks vortex! |
|
[2012-07-02] A Google User: I never expected this... This app stole three of my socks and I now have tissue paper bits all over my tablet. Dev, please give my socks back. |
|
[2012-06-27] A Google User: Minor bug Before this app, life was fine. Now, I am jerry sandusky. Please fix. Oh, never mind, never had so much action. What's with the update that gives internet access? |
|
[2012-06-21] A Google User: Hi Terry! Terry would love this app! He should get it! |
|
[2012-06-19] A Google User: Great! For me to poop on. See title |
|
[2012-06-19] A Google User: It actually useful This app optimizes your phone and makes it faster. My phone was twice as fast after using this. |
|
[2012-05-23] A Google User: oh u changed my life, 3q |
|
[2012-05-10] A Google User: I used to have an iPhone... Then I ran this app and now it's a Droid X2. Amazing! |
|
[2012-05-10] A Google User: vortex love it |
|
[2012-04-30] A Google User: Ha ha! You people must be dense... The dev clearly states the app has no features. Oh, and you may have noticed it requires no permissions meaning there is nothing it can do. Permissions = functions. Do math and vast in the glory if epic'nes. You folks will download anything if it looks cool... |
|
[2012-04-29] A Google User: Worst app evs! Sux. |
|
[2012-04-22] A Google User: Not.real Fake dumb |
|
[2012-04-11] A Google User: What? What does it do? I downloaded it a few days ago and all it says is optimizing system memory. Im keeping it for now, but I would like to know how to get it to do something. |
|
[2012-03-23] A Google User: Suks d¡ck thats all i have to say |
|
[2012-03-07] A Google User: Virus Virus |
|
[2012-03-06] A Google User: App Incredible!!! All it did was display optimizing memory. Next day green liquid (Leprechaun Mojo) oozed from my G2x, cleaning up got it all over me. Changed my shirt and noticed I now have six pack abs, girls want me, when going home my landlord throws rose petals on the ground for me to walk on then parks my car. At my door gifts, offers and marriage proposals block my door! "Now on my way to Africa to punch a Lion in the mouth" Great work on this dev! |
|
[2012-03-05] A Google User: Rubbish it won't turn on do not I repeat do NOT install. Thanks vortex for making me fustrated |
|
[2012-03-04] A Google User: Papaya People I like my ice extra COLD |
|
[2012-02-28] A Google User: Thanks Vortex! I can now breathe while holding my breath! |
|
[2012-02-20] A Google User: Fake app and fake comments The app doesn't exist and the very positive comments are made by the seller and his friends. Don't waste your time downloading! |
|
[2012-02-17] A Google User: This is heavy doc. Someone get me back from 1985, this app is so amazing it split time itself. Great scott. |
|
[2012-02-10] A Google User: Alex I used to have no game, but now I need to beat women off of me with a stick! Thanks Vortex®! |
|
[2011-12-30] A Google User: I no longer need Viagra™! Thanks Vortex! - Evo 4G |
|
[2011-12-04] A Google User: Awesome Amazing app that changed everything. But I can no longer turn my swag off. Help. |
|
[2011-11-25] A Google User: Awesome sauce I lol ed |
|
[2011-10-14] A Google User: Don't understand it. |
|
[2011-10-06] A Google User: Must have app. Absolutely brilliant. |
|
[2011-09-03] A Google User: One of the best apps out there. Nominated for best app of the year. Dev - only problem is recent update only increased my epicness by 16%, please fix |
|
[2011-08-27] A Google User: This app truely helped me have more faith in the lord, and have faith that some developers out there really can make a difference. |
|
[2011-08-27] Larry: This app truely helped me have more faith in the lord, and have faith that some developers out there really can make a difference. |
|
[2011-08-10] A Google User: Crapp |
|
[2011-08-10] James: Crapp |
|
[2011-08-07] A Google User: Never stops optimizing. So its worthless and pointless. All the stupid metaphors in the world couldnt change that. |
|
[2011-08-07] Caleb: Never stops optimizing. So its worthless and pointless. All the stupid metaphors in the world couldnt change that. |
|
[2011-07-27] OJ: I would say it's the best app of all time but it defies time and space! Now everywhere I go all women love me and all men give me their wallets! |
|
[2011-07-25] markg: One of the best apps out there. Nominated for best app of the year. Dev - only problem is recent update only increased my epicness by 16%, please fix. |
|
[2011-07-11] A Google User: Two things-#1,piece of $h!t just says 'optimizing memory' and #2,WtF is it supposed to do??!! |
|
[2011-07-11] delaney: Two things-#1,piece of $h!t just says 'optimizing memory' and #2,WtF is it supposed to do??!! |
|
[2011-06-27] A Google User: Wtf is this app doing/does? |
|
[2011-06-27] Aks: Wtf is this app doing/does? |
|
[2011-06-21] A Google User: Just says "vortex active-- optimizing device memory" then does nothing |
|
[2011-06-21] Benjamin: Just says "vortex active-- optimizing device memory" then does nothing |
|
[2011-06-09] A Google User: Thought this was crap at first, then I noticed all the chicks checking me out. never seen so much action. Brum brum!!! |
|
[2011-06-09] mike: Thought this was crap at first, then I noticed all the chicks checking me out. never seen so much action. Brum brum!!! |
|
[2011-05-24] A Google User: Doesn't do anything except for optimizing memory |
|
[2011-05-24] Pavel: Doesn't do anything except for optimizing memory |
|
[2011-05-05] A Google User: BS! Read all comments. You can tell the good ones are all from the same person. |
|
[2011-05-05] Mackenzie: BS! Read all comments. You can tell the good ones are all from the same person. |
|
[2011-05-03] A Google User: Does nothing just a blank screen on android 2. Uninstall |
|
[2011-05-03] Douglas: Does nothing just a blank screen on android 2. Uninstall |
|
[2011-05-02] A Google User: Now that i have seen the amazing beauty that is Vortex, I feel a strong desire to strangle livestock. Works as intended. |
|
[2011-05-02] FireBreath: Now that i have seen the amazing beauty that is Vortex, I feel a strong desire to strangle livestock. Works as intended. |
|
[2011-02-01] A Google User: Vortex let me visit with the dead!!! Thanks vortex!! |
|
[2011-02-01] Garron: Vortex let me visit with the dead!!! Thanks vortex!! |
|
[2010-11-28] A Google User: Doesn't work. Its total bull. |
|
[2010-11-28] ben: Doesn't work. Its total bull. |
|
[2010-11-15] Dr. Ownage: Andrew, you old bastarde! You've done it again! Now,when I cross the street with this app active, the muthafuckin CARS have to look both ways! Thanks! |
|
[2010-10-28] Lawrence: This app truely helped me have more faith in the lord, and have faith that some developers out there can really make a differance. |
|
[2010-10-13] A Google User: This sucks ;( |
|
[2010-10-13] Jalen: This sucks ;( |
|
[2010-09-16] IT: `lH I*eksAvjzo |
|
[2010-09-07] A Google User: Not work on my g1 |
|
[2010-09-07] krunal: Not work on my g1 |
|
[2010-09-05] Triex: Does not work as intended.. turned my water into vodka.. not wine! Damn polish devs! |
|
[2010-09-05] Alex: Does not work as intended.. turned my water into vodka.. not wine! Damn polish devs! |
|
[2010-08-29] A Google User: Comon man!!! You guys can do better than this junk. Very disappointed. |
|
[2010-08-29] Ron: Comon man!!! You guys can do better than this junk. Very disappointed. |
|
[2010-08-25] A Google User: Amazing! My dog poops in the toilet now. Six stars! |
|
[2010-08-25] mark: Amazing! My dog poops in the toilet now. Six stars! |
|
[2010-08-20] jay: Wow awesome app. The best ever. It wrote me into my granny's will then offed her making it look like an accident! Thanks to vortex I'm rich. |
|
[2010-08-10] A Google User: I have always sucked at modern warfare after i installed this app and connected it to my ps3 i get tactical nukes all the time |
|
[2010-08-10] A Google User: Dismemberment never felt so arousing, although half of me is a horse, but that's my life now. Join me in Vortex, become a centaur. It's that easy. |
|
[2010-08-10] A Google User: Gay doesnt even work. Uninstall. |
|
[2010-08-10] Jonathan: I have always sucked at modern warfare after i installed this app and connected it to my ps3 i get tactical nukes all the time |
|
[2010-08-10] Micah: Dismemberment never felt so arousing, although half of me is a horse, but that's my life now. Join me in Vortex, become a centaur. It's that easy. |
|
[2010-08-10] Anonymous: Gay doesnt even work. Uninstall. |
|
[2010-08-09] A Google User: Have been in a wheelchair since a car accident at thirteen I grew 8 legs with vortex and can climb walls now. |
|
[2010-08-09] Justin: Have been in a wheelchair since a car accident at thirteen I grew 8 legs with vortex and can climb walls now. |
|
[2010-07-31] A Google User: Awesome!! This app performed brain surgery on me and installed my phone into my cerebral cortex. Talk about hands free devices!!! Thanks vortex!! |
|
[2010-07-31] Kevin: Awesome!! This app performed brain surgery on me and installed my phone into my cerebral cortex. Talk about hands free devices!!! Thanks vortex!! |
|
[2010-07-25] A Google User: I think jibreel is right |
|
[2010-07-25] Amit: I think jibreel is right |
|
[2010-07-22] A Google User: Does Nothing. SPAM. |
|
[2010-07-22] kirk: Does Nothing. SPAM. |
|
[2010-07-16] A Google User: The developer is some kind of genius, he got a whole bunch of idiots to download a fake app based on fake comments that he probably left. Lol |
|
[2010-07-16] Jibreel: The developer is some kind of genius, he got a whole bunch of idiots to download a fake app based on fake comments that he probably left. Lol |
|
[2010-07-05] ColePrime: I could help you, but that would require me to leave the Vortex. |
|
|