Drink and Drugs Jokes (v. 3.3.5) Разработано APPsolutely Fabulous |
Over 1000 jokes and witty remarks about alcohol and drugs. Send to your friends via email and SMS.
*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.
*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups. Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*
*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app
Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):
"I hate people who take drugs...
Such as Policemen, Customs Officers, etc..."
"THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Donner kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. ..."
"Beer vs. Vagina
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. ..."
"My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night.
First question was, "What the f**k are YOU looking at?""
"An 'alcoholic' on the Jeremy Kyle Show just admitted to drinking 'eight or nine cans a day.'
F*****g p***y, I can drink that in four hours."
*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app. None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app. We accept no blame for any offence caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.
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[2012-11-07] A Google User: Does not work, says need network connection |
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[2012-09-19] A Google User: Tasteless and crude. I luv it Good for some chuckles. |
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[2012-09-16] A Google User: Not as good as other joke apps Disappointed! The jokes are average at best, uninstalling!! |
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[2012-08-31] A Google User: Quotes No comment. |
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[2012-08-13] A Google User: Only shows message that says I don't have web connection ~ BS, web is on & this is DeLeTeD ! ! ! |
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[2012-07-18] A Google User: Grrrrr Says needs update but when I try it just gives option to open instead;( |
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[2012-07-16] A Google User: Funny |
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[2012-06-06] A Google User: Coll |
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[2012-06-04] A Google User: Love this app! This app is @#$ing hilarious! Ever since my husband downloaded it, I have been laughing my a@# off! |
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[2012-05-23] A Google User: Hmm Quite ok |
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[2012-04-28] A Google User: Bla |
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[2012-04-15] A Google User: Crap Its all brit jokes |
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[2012-04-08] A Google User: Eh |
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[2012-04-07] A Google User: Smh Suxxed yolo |
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[2012-04-04] A Google User: Cud b better Quite funny |
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[2012-02-21] A Google User: Crap Jokes were ok but the ads massed it unusable |
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[2012-02-18] A Google User: style twin cute |
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[2012-01-26] A Google User: Good Mostly funny jokes |
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[2012-01-12] A Google User: Brilliant? Brilliant! |
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[2012-01-11] A Google User: Awesome If you love drinking and doing drugs this is the app for you! |
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[2011-12-21] A Google User: I dont even know what half of these words mean! Next time try to make stuff from AMERICA!!!!Id suggest dont frikkin get it! |
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[2011-10-25] A Google User: Fun! Need some understanding of England's culture to get some of the slang to get some of the jokes |
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[2011-10-21] A Google User: Great until The jokes were great! Now its just a bunch of fuckin foreign jokes...stupid please update |
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[2011-08-21] A Google User: Weak jokes... keeps foreclosing |
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[2011-08-07] A Google User: Cant even read a whole joke b4 it force closes....moto devour :-( |
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[2011-07-25] A Google User: Ok. Just a little dated and seemed to be aimed at children. No really good jokes |
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[2011-07-25] Kelvin: Ok. Just a little dated and seemed to be aimed at children. No really good jokes |
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[2011-07-22] A Google User: I wish you could save or flag your favorites but besides that always good for a laugh |
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[2011-07-22] A Google User: Really. enjoyed. it |
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[2011-07-22] dayna: I wish you could save or flag your favorites but besides that always good for a laugh |
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[2011-07-22] John: Really. enjoyed. it |
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[2011-07-21] A Google User: Non bad only Unistalled because I've been through it a few times. Would sef download updated version when out :) |
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[2011-07-21] Amanda: Non bad only Unistalled because I've been through it a few times. Would sef download updated version when out :) |
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[2011-07-04] A Google User: Pretty good |
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[2011-07-04] Jeff: Pretty good |
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[2011-07-02] A Google User: Won't move to SD card - EVO 4g Android 2.3 |
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[2011-07-02] Isaiah: Won't move to SD card - EVO 4g Android 2.3 |
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[2011-06-13] A Google User: LAME!!! Uninstalling |
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[2011-06-13] Jan: LAME!!! Uninstalling |
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[2011-06-03] A Google User: Some of the jokes are pretty funny...Some are pretty lame...Worth it to read through them though... |
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[2011-06-03] Aubrey: Some of the jokes are pretty funny...Some are pretty lame...Worth it to read through them though... |
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[2011-06-01] A Google User: The jokes are detailed and funny if you like drunk humor. Large font, lots of jokes, & a joke submission buttons. Good to share. A+ for a freebie app. |
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[2011-06-01] Hil: The jokes are detailed and funny if you like drunk humor. Large font, lots of jokes, & a joke submission buttons. Good to share. A+ for a freebie app. |
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[2011-05-29] A Google User: Really bad. Teribble jokes. APPsolutely terrible |
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[2011-05-29] A Google User: Funny stuff |
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[2011-05-29] jamie: Really bad. Teribble jokes. APPsolutely terrible |
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[2011-05-29] dorothy: Funny stuff |
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[2011-03-05] A Google User: Just stupid!!! |
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[2011-03-05] danielle: Just stupid!!! |
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